


A Strife in Possession of Good Coffee Must be in Want of a Turk

by Gothams_Only_Wolf



Series: ShinRa's Guide To Survival [2]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, BAMF Cloud Strife, Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff and Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 15:14:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17082722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gothams_Only_Wolf/pseuds/Gothams_Only_Wolf
Summary: If ShinRa had one rule, it was never,everget between First Sgt. Strife and his coffee.No one ever accounted for a polite Turk doing just that





	A Strife in Possession of Good Coffee Must be in Want of a Turk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Storm_ChaserXX](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storm_ChaserXX/gifts).



> So Storm_ChaserXX pointed out that Tseng seemed to be the odd one out when it comes to Strife coffee. This is that story. 
> 
> Enjoy~

* * *

Cloud's on his third cup of coffee that morning, seated on someone named Reno. 

Someone who swore up and down that he was a Turk and that his superior would seek vengeance.

Cloud sat a little firmer on his pretzeled seat and hummed noncommittally in answer, taking a long drink just to prove his point. 

This was, after all, Reno's fifth attempt at drinking his coffee with having heard the rules. 

He made the same threat every time Cloud turned him into the human approximation of a Western pretzel. 

"Have you seen my-Ah. Would you mind not sitting on my protégée, Sgt...?" The Wutainese man who wore a suit that Cloud had seen before. 

As a matter of fact, one was currently being his seat. 

"Strife, sir. I take it you are the superior he keeps threatening me with, sir?" He offered dryly. 

"I had heard rumors that you do not tolerate thievery of your coffee. Reno knows your rules." The dark eyebrow rose at Reno's predicament but did nothing to remove him from it. 

"Yo, you're taking _his_ side?!" Reno yelped underneath him. "Tseng!" 

"May I hear your rules?" 

"You can't have my coffee unless you're a Strife, through either marriage or blood, you're my significant other or the Silver General himself. As you are none of the above, please step away from the machine, sir. I've told it to Reno five times by now." 

"Thus... his predicament and also mine. You see, I need him because I found him a partner. You have heard of the Department of Administration?" The long-suffering look of a man who dealt with Reno daily was clear. 

Cloud blinked at that and got off of Reno, holding out his hand for the man to shake. "My sincerest apologies that you have to deal with him for more than an hour at a time." 

Tseng chuckled softly, shaking his hand with a steady grip even as he untangled Reno with a swift tug in the correct spot. 

He pulled back his hand and murmured, "I didn't know Turks could do that." 

"We tend to learn a lot of things the average Eastern citizen would not know, Western applications amongst them." came the amused reply. "Go on, Reno, before Veld gets to you." 

Reno was gone within seconds. 

Huh. 

Maybe Reno really _was_ a Turk. 

"Sorry I keep folding up your protégée, sir." 

"Tseng, and please, feel free to drop the sir." The man paused briefly and asked, "May I have some? I understand you get very little of it but I am willing to pay the price of shipping and the effort behind it." 

He'd pay for Ma's coffee? Outright? 

"If you've got a phone I could use, I can ask." Cloud responded. 

"Here." The sleek PHS that was pressed into his free hand was brand-new, the screen clean and clear. 

Cloud typed in the number he knew by heart and sipped his coffee while the call went through. 

«Strife residence, this is Claudia speaking.»

«Hey Ma, it's me. Someone asked to buy your coffee outright. He said he'd pay for shipping and the work if you wanted.» he explained. Cloud knew it was just barely sunrise over in Nibelheim but Ma was up with the sun. 

She hummed as she got her percolator going on the stove. «He didn't try to take it without your permission?»

«Nope, he just asked with _manners_.» 

Ma did laugh at that, the quiet snicker making him crack a smile. «Alright, I suppose he can have some. How much did he want to start with?»

"My Ma makes the coffee, Tseng. She's asking how many cups you'd like. Keep in mind that I drink four only because I'm used to it." Cloud explained, PHS pinned between his cheek and his shoulder. 

"... I'll go for one a day. If my tolerance goes up then I'll certainly request for more." 

«He says one a day for now. That'd be... What?»

«A ten ounce to start. I don't know how he makes his coffee.» 

"You'll start with a ten ounce. All told that's... Ugh, I hate doing math before my third cup's done." He grumbled to himself as he started the mental tally. 

"Seven to eight hundred Gil sounds about right? The shipping alone is anywhere between one hundred and one hundred and fifty." Tseng replied. 

"Thank you. Yeah, roughly that. Did you want the basic blend or the Nibel wildflower? Ma likes to mix it up occasionally." 

"... Wildflower seems interesting. I'd like that one." came the reply. "I've duties to attend to, unfortunately, and will have to cut this short." 

«He says he'll take the wildflower blend. I gotta go Ma.»

«Good. Tell him it'll be in around a week. May I ask if he likes some spice with it?»

"Ma wants to know if you want spices with yours. Clove, cinnamon... The usual winter spices." He relayed. "Ma speaks Common but I honestly don't expect her to before her first cup." 

"Yes, I don't mind spices and I don't expect her to be speaking Common." 

«I caught that. Spices, yes, wildflower blend, yes.... Alright, I love you Storm Cloud. Bye~»

«Bye Ma.» Cloud ended the call, wiped down the screen and handed it back. "Thank you for actually asking me properly. I'd... hate to pretzel a man so polite." 

"Likewise. That would end in quite the stalemate." Tseng's tiny smile made Cloud cock his head to the side. "I don't suppose you'd mind a Turk sparring partner?" 

"Go for it."

* * *

The package was delivered without so much as a hello on the part of the Pvt. handing it over. 

He squeaked and fled as Cloud pulled his knife from his pocket and flicked it open to cut the tape before closing it again. 

Cloud may or may not have cackled internally. 

Supply knew now that fucking with his stuff ended quite literally with some shit on their end. 

Two coffee packs were in the box, nestled in Chocobo wither grass, the blooms missing from the top. 

One was simply labeled 'Storm Cloud' and the other 'That Nice Turk.' 

As if Summoned, Tseng appeared at his elbow in the break room. "I assume the Nice Turk is myself." 

"That's for you alright. Ma really appreciated you asking." Cloud told him. 

"... May I take the box as well?" 

"Sure. If you give me your office address, I can get her to send it there." 

"Of course." Tseng tucked his coffee into his inventory, discreet and small though it was. 

""Holy Shiva, did... did that Turk really touch Strife coffee and get away with it?"" 

""I don't know what he did but now he's offically more terrifying than all of the other Turks."" 

""Are they dating?"" 

""Nah, if they were dating, they wouldn't go that rough in the sparring hall."" 

""Just what we needed at ShinRa; someone _else_ attached to that coffee..."" 

Cloud _did_ snicker under his breath at that last remark, the first sip of coffee as blissful as ever.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment, complain, ect.


End file.
